


Soap and Dust

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-03
Updated: 2002-02-03
Packaged: 2018-11-21 00:10:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11345988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Ever owned a puppy? Then you know the drill.





	Soap and Dust

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

Soap and Dust

## Soap and Dust

#### by Black Coffee

Title: Soap and Dust  
Author: Black Coffee  
Feedback to:   
Author's Website: http://geocities.com/blackcoffees00/coffeeandstories.html  
Status: Complete  
Category: Pre-slash  
Pairing (Primary): Krycek (Pre/Non-slash)  
Pairing(s) (Secondary):   
Crossover Fandom (if any):   
Crossover Info (if any):   
Other Pairing Info:   
Rating:   
Spoilers:   
Permission to Archive:   
Series or Sequel/Prequel: This is a sequel to "Soft." Even though I said I wouldn't.  
Notes: This has not been beta'd! Because it's just a short little thing, but I know it's a crime and therefore I want to let you all know this. Please, if un-beta'd snippets bother you (and I can understand how it might, considering the whole "Alex couched and said" fiasco) then just skip this one. Also, it's not exactly slashy yet, hope it's okay to post it anyway. Can be found at: http://geocities.com/blackcoffees00/coffeeandstories.html  
Warnings: Things get wet.  
Disclaimer: Do I have to?  
Summary: Ever owned a puppy? Then you know the drill.

* * *

His dog needed a bath. Badly. 

Having been out on walks with him and seen him take long detours around anything resembling a gathering of water, and even seeming to dislike the rain, Alex realized he would have to give him one himself. In the tub. Using soap and a lo-ot of bribery. 

So he went to the pet store and asked what was the best way to clean a puppy, and the lady sold him some dog shampoo which promised "healthy and shiny looking fur" on the outside. The box had a picture of a dog and it's owner taking a bath and laughing at each other as if they were real pals. Feeling encouraged by this, Alex returned home. 

The smell met him as soon as he entered the small apartment, and he felt even better about his purchase. Tonight, he would be the proud owner of a healthy and shiny looking dog. One that smelled nice. 

He avoided the issue for most of the day. Instead he made sure to play a little extra with his dirty dog, getting down on the floor with him, which the pup always seemed to love when Alex did, and calling him all sorts of sweet names while petting him. He also fed him a lot of doggie biscuits, to keep him as happy and easily manageable as possible. The dog seemed to appreciate his efforts, licking him and jumping up in his lap to nibble affectionately at his earlobe. 

But came evening and Alex went into the bathroom to fill the tub, things changed quickly. 

The dog eyed the bathtub suspiciously as he was being ushered into the small bathroom. Alex took the moment to carefully move closer to the animal, holding the towel out to wrap him up in. The dog shifted its eyes back to Alex, clearly saw his intentions, and made a low growling sound in the back of the throat. A warning. 

Alex decided to try and lighten up the atmosphere with a smile. Grinning stupidly, he coaxed; "Come on now. Look at that nice, clean water. You want to do this, don't ya. Yes you do. Yes you do, yes you..." 

"I'll get in that bath when you manage to get laid," the dog said, or would have said if he could speak. Now he just used his brown eyes to communicate this message, and Alex received it, loud and clear. 

So this would not go as easily as he had thought it would. Fine. He tightened his lips and put on a stern look. 

"Okay, if that's how you want to do this," he said grimly, holding the dog's gaze and with his arm reaching behind him and closing the door firmly shut. Now they were standing together in the small bathroom, staring each other down. Alex and Alex. The man and the dog. 

Alex the dog watched the door close and realized he was trapped, beginning to back away and trying to get underneath the sink. Alex the man saw his intentions and quickly stepped in front of the sink, effectively cutting him off. 

"Oh no you don't," he said warningly, even wagging his finger for further effect. "You're not getting away from this, you hear. You can do that growling noise all day and I would still force you to take a bath. You. Smell." 

The dog wasn't going to submit that easily. He wasn't scared, not of Alex, his master, who always cuddled him and stroked him and never ever treated him the way some other humans had done before him. No, Master Alex didn't intimidate him at all. That bath tub did, though. 

He bared his small little teeth, thinking he looked all mean and scary. 

>growl< (So? Maybe I enjoy being dirty.)>growl<

Alex didn't waver. "This whole apartment smell now. What if I brought a date up here or something? What would that person think with my place smelling like a damn farm animal?" 

The dog snarled, fucking snarled at him. 

>Growl growl< (Not MY problem. Besides, when was the last time you had a >date?) 

Alex gritted his teeth and pointed down at the puppy. "Don't give me that look, you little free-loading fucker! I get dates!" 

>Growl Bawahahahah yeah right growl<

Alex had had enough. "Look, the longer you wait, the colder that water gets. Why don't you just quit resisting and get. In. The. Bath!" 

>Rrrrooowl< (Why don't you just kiss my furry dirty butt?) 

Alex reached down, grabbed the small dog and lifted him up off the floor, ignoring the angry barking and the desperate wriggling and turning towards the filled tub. 

>GROWL!< (No no no no!) 

Alex lowered his arms and almost, almost managed to get the dog into the tub when unfortunately he put one foot in the puddle of water on the floor and slipped. 

"Shit!" 

He lost his grip on the puppy, who, surprised at suddenly being free, yelped and slid on the edge of the tub. Alex tried to make a grab for him, slipped again and went head-first into the bath water with a curse and some violent sputtering. 

The dog got his balance back, jumped down on the floor and padded over to the closed door which, as if on cue, opened and let him out into the apartment and the temporary security. 

"Hey, what...?" 

A couple of big feet was in the way, but Alex the dog just side-stepped them and ran for cover under the bed. 

The feet turned to look after him, then turned back into the small bathroom again. 

"Um, Krycek...?" 

Alex's drenched head came up from behind the bath tub edge and stared at the latest intruder into his home. "What the fu...Mulder?" 

Mulder stood in the door looking torn between frowning and bursting into laughter. He ended up using a combination of the two. 

"Krycek I...I just came to, um...see that you were still shacked up here and hadn't left town or anything and...well, obviously you are still...here." 

He took a breathing-pause, let his eyes roam over the wet tiles, the bottle of dog shampoo in one corner, and Alex's red, wet face. 

"Um...I...you need help or something?" 

Alex stood, using all the dignity he had left which, admittedly, wasn't much, and said, "Not really. Let me just get my gun and I'll have this little problem solved in NO TIME!" The last words were said in a louder voice, obviously directed at the open bedroom door. 

Alex grabbed a towel, dried his hair and face and stepped over to the door. Mulder let him pass and then followed him into the kitchen where Alex opened one of the cabinets and proceeded to take out a bottle of vodka. "Ah, it's good to see you, old friend." 

"I'm not your friend, Krycek." 

"I was talking about the vodka." 

"Oh." 

Alex snorted. "Well? You want some?" 

Mulder shook his head at first, glancing at the front door as if he considered leaving, but then he seemed to change his mind for some reason and shrugged, "Oh, why not. You only have one glass?" 

Alex tossed it to him and started to impatiently pour the vodka. "Here. I'll just drink from the bottle instead." 

Which he then did. Silence spread across the kitchen as the two men sat on opposite ends of the rickety table with the one candle on it, and glared at each other. It felt almost...normal again. Mulder breathed a sign of relief. For a moment there, when seeing Alex standing beside the tub, head and shoulders drenched and hair sticking up in all directions, looking mad and embarrassed, he had felt something...different in the pit of his stomach. Something he usually didn't feel when being that close to his nemesis. 

Humor. And pity. And something resembling...affection? 

That was weird. But now, slamming back vodka and indulging in stubborn silence, it felt right again. Krycek was still here, he hadn't left, he wasn't in the middle of some deviously plotted plan to bring down Mulder's latest case and he was obviously...rather busy taking care of his new puppy. 

Mulder put the glass down on the table, leaned forward pressing his forehead to his arms, and burst out laughing. 

Krycek jumped and stared at the giggling Mulder, bent over the table top. He pressed his lips together tightly. Then asked. 

"Something funny, Agent?" 

Mulder tried to speak, he really did. But the alcohol and the tension he had felt, and the image of Krycek and the puppy struggling in the bathroom all had managed to break him. He gave in to his giggles and didn't come up for air until several minutes later. 

Alex was still glaring at him from across the table, bottle raised to his lips. Hair still sticking out in now rapidly drying spikes. "Are you done?" 

Mulder nodded, giggled some more, than nodded again, firmer this time. "Yes. I'm done. It's just that...you...when I...you just looked so..." 

"Go ahead, Mulder. I dare you to finish that sentence here in my own kitchen." 

Alex voice was its familiar husky and sulky self again. Mulder took another deep breath and calmed himself down. He let his eyes search the room, not knowing what for, taking in the poor quality of the sparse furniture and the places on the wall where the wallpaper was ripped. The kitchen was strangely free from dust though, he noticed. Maybe Krycek was a pedantic cleaner or maybe he had some paranoia about leaving fingerprints. 

Mulder shifted his eyes back to his enemy, sitting quietly in front of him, still drinking from his bottle. 

The strange feeling was back again. Damn. 

Mulder stared down at his hands, tried to collect his thoughts, and cleared his throat. "Um, well, I should be leaving. Thanks for the drink and...um, yeah, thanks." 

Krycek shrugged and stood. Mulder stood too, noticing how the other man carefully put the bottle back in the cabinet and the glass down in the sink. Rinsing it. 

Krycek turned and met his eyes, something looking like a challenge visible in his own now. "You know how you could repay me, Mulder?" 

His voice sounded even lower than normal, and Mulder swallowed hard, hoping Krycek wouldn't notice. "Um...No?" 

Krycek glanced over Mulder's shoulder, back at the open bedroom door. Then his eyes locked with Mulder's again. "You could hold my dog while I give him a bath." 

Mulder blinked. 

* 

The End. 

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to Black Coffee 


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